Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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