dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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