Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
