She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
