You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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