new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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