love makes seman taste better
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
