Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
