He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
