drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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