Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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