??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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