I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You need a sexual gate keeper
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
