remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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