i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
