worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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