Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
