if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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