He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
