I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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