If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
