Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
