Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
