Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
