Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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