Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
