you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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