Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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