This girl is more easily done than said...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
