if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
