if you like me you must not know who I am
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is classic penis vs brain.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
