you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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