And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
