I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You made out with two different species that night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
