it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
