Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
