she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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