I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
