I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
