I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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