i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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