Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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