this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
