She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize