quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
