he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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