Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So much rum. So many feels.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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