she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
