I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
