Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
