We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
