You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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