New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
