The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
