I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
