Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
