This girl is more easily done than said...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
