I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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