remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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