I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
