is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
