You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Randomize
