I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
